Head Space

I’ve been working hard to clear out the clutter from my house. This has taken up so much of my time that I haven’t had time for horses, art or photography. Trying to get the house ready for sale photos takes an enormous amount of energy and brain power. The process is faster with a friend who is not emotionally attached to your stuff. With help, I whipped through the kitchen and dining room. My progress slowed when it came to my office and bedroom. Would I need this someday? Is it worth anything? Why can’t I get rid of a box of half burned candles?

I know I need to head to the store to get some storage bins for things that I don’t want in plain boxes like my photo albums. I had always hoped my son would want to look at my albums to see what my life was like when I was his age but he has never shown any interest in them. Will he someday? Will anyone care about my photo albums and scrapbooks of my early life? Likely not but I am not willing to let them go just yet.

My son doesn’t have any trouble letting go of things. In fact, when he was purging, I had to question him on a few things. I ended up keeping some things he wanted to get rid of and a few months later he was happy about that. I try not to look too closely at what he is purging because I will get stuck and end up trying to save all his old things. I gave some of his Legos to a friend with a young son and that felt good. My son has always come by things he needs or wants easily because he is an only, or was until a year or so ago when he became a half brother. I’ll admit that my son is spoiled. Even as a single mom, I gave him more than I should have given him just so he could have presents to open on his birthday or Christmas. He didn’t need half of the things I gave him and now I see them headed to the thrift store.

Then there are the things I am trying to sell. No one wants cute dishware. Why would you need a mini casserole dish? I took them from my mom’s collection when she passed. They are so cute but I have never been able to discern a purpose. I have an Italian vase that my neighbor’s gave me one Christmas. Not my style but the thought was nice. Soup tureen with a broken ladle which is still functional but who am I kidding…I don’t need this. I’d hoped to donate my nature stuff: peacock feathers, turtle shell, deer antler etc to a local nature center but when I called, the tired sounding underpaid park employee totally blew me off. I keep thinking I will just go over there and put them in the collection that kids can touch and explore.

I had applied for a spot of the new reality show The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning but never heard back. I could really use their help. Sending a child off to college and moving is not for the faint of heart. I am excited but anxious. I know this is the right thing to do at this point in my life, the door could not be more wide open. I meet with the house stager today who suggested that I have a notebook to make sure I take notes of every bit of wisdom she doles out. The sad part is, this is just for the inside. I still need to tackle the outside. I need landscaping elves who will come overnight to trim trees, and hedges then take away the trash. My gardens all need weeding and edging but it is so hot out. This transformation from lived in to sellable takes a toll on your mental and physical well being.

Send strength and fortitude my way please, and also the ability to ask for help.