Creative Types

I am a creative. It’s taken me years to own this, although I have always known it. I’m not the sort of person who can be creative on demand, like when you go to a meeting and the corporate types say, “Send us your creative, outside-the-box suggestions”. How can you be creative on the spot? Creativity needs time to roll around and grow.

I’ve always been torn about my creative outlets. Should I stick to one thing and become the best I can be at it or do I need several to satisfy the need to keep my mind nimble? Jack of all trades, master of none runs through my brain more than I would like.

I grew up being involved in theater throughout school. Music theater, plays and voice lessons. I loved being someone different. Convincing the audience that I was Tzeitel, Aunt Eller, or Morgan le Fay was proven to me at the end of a show when I heard the applause. With a few exceptions, I was a character actress and rarely got the leading romantic role. I didn’t continue acting after high school because it didn’t seem practical for a career. There didn’t seem to be enough time for it to be a hobby.

As long as I can remember, I have been a photographer. I took pictures on family vacations with my film camera that produced square prints. I began to use my sister’s 35mm. In high school, classmates who didn’t do their photo assignment would ask if they could turn in one of my photos because I always had extra. uh, no. When I found out that broadcast journalism was not the direction I wanted to take for my career, I knew I needed to pivot to something else in the coveted Newhouse Communications school at Syracuse. Nikon in hand, I chose photojournalism. Over the years though, it became less of a creative outlet and more of a job because it was my job. I turned to editing because I felt that I could help other develop their talents. I just didn’t feel dedicated enough to be winning the awards for my own work. Since I’ve left the paper, the love pf photography is coming back. I credit iPhones for that partially because of the ability to capture a moment without all the preparation and pro gear.

I wrote a memoir about an interesting time in my life, my post divorce awakening. That story was banging around inside my head screaming to get out. I wrote it to quiet my brain. Others have read it and enjoyed it. I had several professional editors work with it. It is ready for the world. Convincing book agents and publishers that is another issue. Write more, I am told. Submit short stories so your writing gets noticed. I’ve done that but those stories are small pieces of me that were much quieter that the raucous memoir. I’ve written these stories and submitted a few to publications. Rejections or silence was the result. I left it alone and took up storytelling.

Storytelling lets me be on stage and use my writing ideas for a creative outlet. I practice when I am walking the dogs or feeding my horses. Storytelling shows have the most forgiving and empathetic audiences. How could I not love being in the spotlight for 8-12 minutes telling my tale?

To relive stress from work, I learned how to make mosaic art from an artist whose work I admire very much. I love the tactile nature of mosaic. It is problem solving and art combined and that makes my brain happy. I don’t think I have found my style yet as I play with different techniques and materials. It will come. As I write this, I have 10 projects to grout. It is the messy part of the art as well as a huge time commitment. Who knew glueing pieces of crockery, beads, tiles and whatever would be such a soothing task? I’m going to need to find a gallery to get some of these creations out of my garage.

The thing is, when I am writing, like right now, I feel guilty that I have the ten projects waiting to be grouted. When I am making mosaics, I think about how I need to teach myself some photo techniques in lighting or post production. When I am making pictures, I think about stories that I should be writing.

I am a conflicted creative. Choose one? Choose all? Perhaps it does not matter. How do I want the world to see me? Photographer? Artist? Writer? Performer? I am a creative. There is no need to put me in a smaller box.